Friday, December 31

Funny Quotes on New Year’s Resolutions

Here are some of the best  witty, humorous quotes about New Year’s Resolutions I could find.  I thought that if you were thinking of sending a card one of these would help to spice it up a bit.

Now there are more overweight people in America than average-weight people. So overweight people are now average… which means, you have met your New Year’s resolution.

–Jay Leno

New Year’s Resolution: To tolerate fools more gladly, provided this does not encourage them to take up more of my time.

–James Agate

Making resolutions is a cleansing ritual of self assessment and repentance that demands personal honesty and, ultimately, reinforces humility. Breaking them is part of the cycle.

–Eric Zorn

An optimist stays up until midnight to see the New Year in. A pessimist stays up to make sure the old year leaves.

–Bill Vaughan

New Year’s Day is every man’s birthday.

–Charles Lamb

Cheers to a New Year and another chance for us to get it right.

–Oprah Winfrey

New Year’s Day… now is the accepted time to make your regular annual good resolutions. Next week you can begin paving hell with them as usual.

–Mark Twain

Happiness is too many things these days for anyone to wish it on anyone lightly. So let’s just wish each other a bile-less New Year and leave it at that.

–Judith Crist

Many people look forward to the New Year for a new start on old habits.

–Anonymous

May all your troubles last as long as your New Year’s resolutions!

–Joey Adams

I made no resolutions for the New Year. The habit of making plans, of criticizing, sanctioning and molding my life, is too much of a daily event for me.

–Anais Nin

Good resolutions are simply checks that men draw on a bank where they have no account.

–Oscar Wilde

“It wouldn’t be New Year’s if I didn’t have regrets.”

– William Thomas

“Youth is when you’re allowed to stay up late on New Year’s Eve. Middle age is when you’re forced to.”
– Bill Vaughan

I’m a little bit older, a little bit wiser, a little bit rounder, but still none the wiser.

–Robert Paul

A New Year’s resolution is something that goes in one Year and out the other.

–Anonymous

From New Year’s on the outlook brightens; good humor lost in a mood of failure returns. I resolve to stop complaining.

–Leonard Bernstein